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Title: Another Day (Chapter Five)
Author: Mara
Rating: R
Warnings: Language. Discussion of Suicide and Depression. AU. Spoilers for Seasons 1 to 3, especially the Season 3 finale. Possibly sex and violence in later chapters.
Summary: Ryan tries to move on with his life, but it's not always easy. Good thing he still has the Cohens and Summer to help him.
Notes: I saved this part, which I love for a couple reasons, to post on my Birthday! 23 years ago today, I was born in South Texas, joining twin older brothers (Owen and Seth) and my mom. Now, my mom doesn't read my LJ, so she won't see this, but... lol... I still wanna say how much I love her and that so much of who I am is owed to her and how she raised my and my brothers, who also had a HUGE influence on me. My family is everything to me, and I'm lucky that I got an amazing one in Mama and my brothers.
Chapter Five
Shopping was far from Ryan's favorite activity, but if it was going to cheer Summer up and stop her from crying, he'd go and carry her bags, even though he drew the line at carrying her pink leather purse. He didn't feel that guilty for not telling her immediately.
"What do you think?" Summer asked as she stepped out of a dressing room in a red dress that looked almost fluid as it moved around her body.
Ryan's eyebrows shot straight up and he nodded slowly. "If you want to give your dad a heart attack, yeah, that's the one to buy," he said.
"More like make Cohen see what he gave up," Summer countered, looking at herself in the mirror and turning from side to side. "You think it'll work?"
"Do I look like I understand the inner workings of Seth's mind? Or like I want to?"
Summer laughed slightly and nodded to herself. "Would it make you feel like a moron if you were in his place."
"Well, I never would have cheated," Ryan began. "But oh yeah."
"Then I'm getting it," Summer said as she went back into the dressing room.
"It'll probably lead to some grovelling and expensive apology gifts."
"Which I will give to the homeless of LA if I get any from him," Summer replied.
"It would be better to pawn them, get money, buy useful stuff to give out. Like warm clothes, food..."
"You're almost as practical as Cara," Summer said as she stepped back out, dressed in her jeans and shirt again. "But I think that's what I'll do if he gets me something expensive."
"Then I'll encourage him to," Ryan said dryly as he followed Summer to the cashier to pay.
"You're evil, Chino," Summer said. "I like it," she added, taking her credit card back and handing the bag with the dress to Ryan.
Ryan chuckled as they left the store. "Why are you calling me Chino again all of a sudden?"
"Because the whole last name as nickname thing is tired and done to death and you are way too special for it."
"Should I be insulted by the special part?" Ryan asked.
Summer laughed and turned to face him, walking backwards. "Yes, completely," she said.
"Just for that, I'm gonna toss all of these in the fountain," Ryan threatened, taking a step towards it.
"You wouldn't!" Summer protested.
"You wanna bet?" Ryan said, taking another step.
"Chino, stop right there or you are a dead man!" Summer said, though she was grinning.
"I'm scared," Ryan said, taking another step.
"Ryan!" Summer said, laughing.
"Apologize," Ryan said taking the final step and dangling the bags over the water.
"Okay, okay!" Summer said. "I'm sorry I ever called you special, you are the least special person I know, you are so damn not special that I don't know why I would ever want to hang out with you!"
"Thank you," Ryan said, setting the bags down next to the fountain and sitting on the edge.
Summer joined him, still laughing, and lightly shoved his shoulder. "Jerk," she said, though there was no venom behind it.
Ryan smiled in return. "So, I told them about my idea last night," he said, changing the topic.
"And?" Summer replied. "I know how much you want an apartment..."
"And they said they'd pay rent, same as they do for Seth, and that actually, it makes more sense to get one right after break and I can start maybe one or two nights a week staying there during spring semester, then the transition to mostly living there will be smoother."
"That's great!" Summer said. "I have to buy you a housewarming present!" she added, jumping up.
"There is no place yet," Ryan protested, pulling her back down. "At least wait until there's a place."
Summer pouted, but relented. "Fine. But I am going to get you an early housewarming gift for Chrismukkah, and then something better once there is a place."
"I'm not gonna talk you out of it, am I?"
"You know I'm totally gonna hang out there all the time, Chino, so it better have some decent decoration."
Ryan chuckled. "You feel better?"
Summer nodded. "Yeah. It still hurts, really bad, but... it's kinda... numb-ish now."
Ryan put an arm around her shoulders again. "You wanna get something to eat?" he asked. "My treat."
"Only if it's ice cream," Summer replied. "Chocolate. With lots and lots of sprinkles."
"I think I can pull that off," Ryan agreed.
~~~~
Ryan didn't get home until evening, since he and Summer had ended up doing all of their Chrismukkah shopping together, except for 3 times when Summer had shoved him away and gone off on her own for a few minutes only to return with a bag she wouldn't let him carry. When he entered the house, he was almost immediately surrounded by his family, all of them looking concerned and Seth looking desperate. "What?" he asked, as he set the shopping bags down.
"You went shopping?" Sandy asked, confused.
"Summer needed a distraction, I needed to finish getting gifts," Ryan said with a shrug.
"You talked to her, right? Is she going to forgive me?" Seth asked. "I mean yeah, grovelling and expensive gifts is a must..."
Ryan almost burst out laughing, wondering what Seth would offer when Summer turned up in the red dress, but he was too angry by the rest of the sentence made him too angry. "You think I would talk to her on your behalf?" he said. "Seth, you cheated on her. And you put me in the middle of it. I didn't talk to her for you."
"But you said you were gonna handle it..."
"Yeah, by being there for my friend who just had her heart ripped out and stomped on," Ryan interrupted. "By making sure her holiday wasn't ruined because you're an ass..."
"Don't say ass," Kirsten said automatically.
"Sorry," Ryan said before turning back to Seth. "I'm not going to defend you to her or anyone else, Seth. You screwed up. You destroyed the best thing that ever happened to you, and I'm not going to fix it for you."
"Ryan's right," Sandy said. "It's not his job to fix your messes."
"Is Summer okay?" Kirsten asked.
"She's hurting," Ryan replied. "A lot. But she'll be okay."
"Good. Tell her I hope she'll still come for Chrismukkah, but we'll understand if she doesn't."
"I will," Ryan promised.
~~~~
For the first time since Ryan came home from the hospital in January, Kirsten and Sandy didn't ask about his day, and that was only because they knew how it had gone. There was no good talk over dinner, and no serious talk after, only quiet clean up with Kirsten and Ryan washing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.
"I was thinking," Kirsten began. "We can start looking for an apartment now. Use the computer and look at listings."
"Yeah?" Ryan asked, smiling. "I mean, we don't have to hurry, but... if we're going to get it in the spring, I would rather it be sooner than later..."
"I actually looked a little bit earlier," Kirsten admitted. "Just to get a few ideas of what we want for you..."
"I knew it," Ryan said with a grin.
"What?" Kirsten asked.
"That I don't get in a say in this place," Ryan replied. "You know I would pick some little place that was just big enough for me and had the bare essentials, and you aren't going to let me do that."
"Well... no..." Kirsten admitted. "I want it to be a nice place, Ryan. Something with plenty of room, and good views, and close to campus."
Ryan shook his head, smiling. "It's your money, so..."
"You'll get final say in which place," Kirsten said. "And I'm going to tell the realtor that you are not to know the prices on any of the places because I don't want you letting that affect your decision." She paused. "I'm not being too pushy and hovering, am I?" she added after a moment.
"No," Ryan replied, slipping the last dish into the dishwasher and starting it. "You're being my mom."
Kirsten smiled at the words and gave him a hug. "Thank you," she said.
Ryan returned the hug. "So," he said as he pulled back. "How about we go look at some listings?"
Kirsten nodded and they headed into the livingroom to start. "It has to be at least 2 bedrooms, because everyone should have a spare room and a spare bed to offer a friend."
"Ah, but with a futon couch it can be laid flat and there's a bed," Ryan countered, even though he knew Kirsten would win in the end.
"Then you can have 2 spare beds," Kirsten replied with a smile.
Ryan laughed as they sat down on the couch and Kirtsen opened her laptop. "I'm not gonna get to reject any features you decide on, am I?" he joked. "You're going to rationalize every one of them."
"It's my job to win the disagreements, Ryan, I'm the mom," Kirsten said.
"Yeah, you are," Ryan agreed as he leaned forward to look at the list of neccessities that Kirsten had compiled. "I do not need to be within walking distance of both the beach and campus," he said immediately. "I'm not even sure that's possible."
~~~~
When Kirsten and Sandy were getting ready for bed, Sandy brought up the topic they'd avoided over dinner. "Should we be worried that Ryan's so angry at Seth and defensive of Summer?"
Kirsten sighed. "Remember, Summer's the one who found him the night he..." she stopped, unable to say the words when she didn't have to. "She's been there for him a lot more than Seth has, but she hasn't, as far as I know, asked for anything in return. I'd be more worried if he was blindly defending Seth."
"You're right," Sandy said, nodding. "I just don't like seeing the boys fighting."
"Neither do I, but I'd rather that than Ryan just instantly forgiving Seth for all his faults," Kirsten said. "He called me his mom tonight," she added after a moment.
"What?" Sandy replied, startled by the change in topic.
"We were talking about finding him an apartment, and I asked if I was hovering too much, and he said I wasn't. I was just being his mom," Kirsten explained. "He's never done that before. I know he's let others call us his parents, and I know he's said we were his parents, but... he's never directly said we were his mom and his dad."
Sandy smiled and sat down beside her. "You are," he said. "I'm glad he knows that."
"I wish we could have gotten here without... without him hurting so much," Kirsten said.
"So do I," Sandy admitted. "But we can't change what happened, Kirsten. We can only make sure that it never happens again by doing our jobs and being his parents this time around."
To Be Continued...
Author: Mara
Rating: R
Warnings: Language. Discussion of Suicide and Depression. AU. Spoilers for Seasons 1 to 3, especially the Season 3 finale. Possibly sex and violence in later chapters.
Summary: Ryan tries to move on with his life, but it's not always easy. Good thing he still has the Cohens and Summer to help him.
Notes: I saved this part, which I love for a couple reasons, to post on my Birthday! 23 years ago today, I was born in South Texas, joining twin older brothers (Owen and Seth) and my mom. Now, my mom doesn't read my LJ, so she won't see this, but... lol... I still wanna say how much I love her and that so much of who I am is owed to her and how she raised my and my brothers, who also had a HUGE influence on me. My family is everything to me, and I'm lucky that I got an amazing one in Mama and my brothers.
Chapter Five
Shopping was far from Ryan's favorite activity, but if it was going to cheer Summer up and stop her from crying, he'd go and carry her bags, even though he drew the line at carrying her pink leather purse. He didn't feel that guilty for not telling her immediately.
"What do you think?" Summer asked as she stepped out of a dressing room in a red dress that looked almost fluid as it moved around her body.
Ryan's eyebrows shot straight up and he nodded slowly. "If you want to give your dad a heart attack, yeah, that's the one to buy," he said.
"More like make Cohen see what he gave up," Summer countered, looking at herself in the mirror and turning from side to side. "You think it'll work?"
"Do I look like I understand the inner workings of Seth's mind? Or like I want to?"
Summer laughed slightly and nodded to herself. "Would it make you feel like a moron if you were in his place."
"Well, I never would have cheated," Ryan began. "But oh yeah."
"Then I'm getting it," Summer said as she went back into the dressing room.
"It'll probably lead to some grovelling and expensive apology gifts."
"Which I will give to the homeless of LA if I get any from him," Summer replied.
"It would be better to pawn them, get money, buy useful stuff to give out. Like warm clothes, food..."
"You're almost as practical as Cara," Summer said as she stepped back out, dressed in her jeans and shirt again. "But I think that's what I'll do if he gets me something expensive."
"Then I'll encourage him to," Ryan said dryly as he followed Summer to the cashier to pay.
"You're evil, Chino," Summer said. "I like it," she added, taking her credit card back and handing the bag with the dress to Ryan.
Ryan chuckled as they left the store. "Why are you calling me Chino again all of a sudden?"
"Because the whole last name as nickname thing is tired and done to death and you are way too special for it."
"Should I be insulted by the special part?" Ryan asked.
Summer laughed and turned to face him, walking backwards. "Yes, completely," she said.
"Just for that, I'm gonna toss all of these in the fountain," Ryan threatened, taking a step towards it.
"You wouldn't!" Summer protested.
"You wanna bet?" Ryan said, taking another step.
"Chino, stop right there or you are a dead man!" Summer said, though she was grinning.
"I'm scared," Ryan said, taking another step.
"Ryan!" Summer said, laughing.
"Apologize," Ryan said taking the final step and dangling the bags over the water.
"Okay, okay!" Summer said. "I'm sorry I ever called you special, you are the least special person I know, you are so damn not special that I don't know why I would ever want to hang out with you!"
"Thank you," Ryan said, setting the bags down next to the fountain and sitting on the edge.
Summer joined him, still laughing, and lightly shoved his shoulder. "Jerk," she said, though there was no venom behind it.
Ryan smiled in return. "So, I told them about my idea last night," he said, changing the topic.
"And?" Summer replied. "I know how much you want an apartment..."
"And they said they'd pay rent, same as they do for Seth, and that actually, it makes more sense to get one right after break and I can start maybe one or two nights a week staying there during spring semester, then the transition to mostly living there will be smoother."
"That's great!" Summer said. "I have to buy you a housewarming present!" she added, jumping up.
"There is no place yet," Ryan protested, pulling her back down. "At least wait until there's a place."
Summer pouted, but relented. "Fine. But I am going to get you an early housewarming gift for Chrismukkah, and then something better once there is a place."
"I'm not gonna talk you out of it, am I?"
"You know I'm totally gonna hang out there all the time, Chino, so it better have some decent decoration."
Ryan chuckled. "You feel better?"
Summer nodded. "Yeah. It still hurts, really bad, but... it's kinda... numb-ish now."
Ryan put an arm around her shoulders again. "You wanna get something to eat?" he asked. "My treat."
"Only if it's ice cream," Summer replied. "Chocolate. With lots and lots of sprinkles."
"I think I can pull that off," Ryan agreed.
~~~~
Ryan didn't get home until evening, since he and Summer had ended up doing all of their Chrismukkah shopping together, except for 3 times when Summer had shoved him away and gone off on her own for a few minutes only to return with a bag she wouldn't let him carry. When he entered the house, he was almost immediately surrounded by his family, all of them looking concerned and Seth looking desperate. "What?" he asked, as he set the shopping bags down.
"You went shopping?" Sandy asked, confused.
"Summer needed a distraction, I needed to finish getting gifts," Ryan said with a shrug.
"You talked to her, right? Is she going to forgive me?" Seth asked. "I mean yeah, grovelling and expensive gifts is a must..."
Ryan almost burst out laughing, wondering what Seth would offer when Summer turned up in the red dress, but he was too angry by the rest of the sentence made him too angry. "You think I would talk to her on your behalf?" he said. "Seth, you cheated on her. And you put me in the middle of it. I didn't talk to her for you."
"But you said you were gonna handle it..."
"Yeah, by being there for my friend who just had her heart ripped out and stomped on," Ryan interrupted. "By making sure her holiday wasn't ruined because you're an ass..."
"Don't say ass," Kirsten said automatically.
"Sorry," Ryan said before turning back to Seth. "I'm not going to defend you to her or anyone else, Seth. You screwed up. You destroyed the best thing that ever happened to you, and I'm not going to fix it for you."
"Ryan's right," Sandy said. "It's not his job to fix your messes."
"Is Summer okay?" Kirsten asked.
"She's hurting," Ryan replied. "A lot. But she'll be okay."
"Good. Tell her I hope she'll still come for Chrismukkah, but we'll understand if she doesn't."
"I will," Ryan promised.
~~~~
For the first time since Ryan came home from the hospital in January, Kirsten and Sandy didn't ask about his day, and that was only because they knew how it had gone. There was no good talk over dinner, and no serious talk after, only quiet clean up with Kirsten and Ryan washing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.
"I was thinking," Kirsten began. "We can start looking for an apartment now. Use the computer and look at listings."
"Yeah?" Ryan asked, smiling. "I mean, we don't have to hurry, but... if we're going to get it in the spring, I would rather it be sooner than later..."
"I actually looked a little bit earlier," Kirsten admitted. "Just to get a few ideas of what we want for you..."
"I knew it," Ryan said with a grin.
"What?" Kirsten asked.
"That I don't get in a say in this place," Ryan replied. "You know I would pick some little place that was just big enough for me and had the bare essentials, and you aren't going to let me do that."
"Well... no..." Kirsten admitted. "I want it to be a nice place, Ryan. Something with plenty of room, and good views, and close to campus."
Ryan shook his head, smiling. "It's your money, so..."
"You'll get final say in which place," Kirsten said. "And I'm going to tell the realtor that you are not to know the prices on any of the places because I don't want you letting that affect your decision." She paused. "I'm not being too pushy and hovering, am I?" she added after a moment.
"No," Ryan replied, slipping the last dish into the dishwasher and starting it. "You're being my mom."
Kirsten smiled at the words and gave him a hug. "Thank you," she said.
Ryan returned the hug. "So," he said as he pulled back. "How about we go look at some listings?"
Kirsten nodded and they headed into the livingroom to start. "It has to be at least 2 bedrooms, because everyone should have a spare room and a spare bed to offer a friend."
"Ah, but with a futon couch it can be laid flat and there's a bed," Ryan countered, even though he knew Kirsten would win in the end.
"Then you can have 2 spare beds," Kirsten replied with a smile.
Ryan laughed as they sat down on the couch and Kirtsen opened her laptop. "I'm not gonna get to reject any features you decide on, am I?" he joked. "You're going to rationalize every one of them."
"It's my job to win the disagreements, Ryan, I'm the mom," Kirsten said.
"Yeah, you are," Ryan agreed as he leaned forward to look at the list of neccessities that Kirsten had compiled. "I do not need to be within walking distance of both the beach and campus," he said immediately. "I'm not even sure that's possible."
~~~~
When Kirsten and Sandy were getting ready for bed, Sandy brought up the topic they'd avoided over dinner. "Should we be worried that Ryan's so angry at Seth and defensive of Summer?"
Kirsten sighed. "Remember, Summer's the one who found him the night he..." she stopped, unable to say the words when she didn't have to. "She's been there for him a lot more than Seth has, but she hasn't, as far as I know, asked for anything in return. I'd be more worried if he was blindly defending Seth."
"You're right," Sandy said, nodding. "I just don't like seeing the boys fighting."
"Neither do I, but I'd rather that than Ryan just instantly forgiving Seth for all his faults," Kirsten said. "He called me his mom tonight," she added after a moment.
"What?" Sandy replied, startled by the change in topic.
"We were talking about finding him an apartment, and I asked if I was hovering too much, and he said I wasn't. I was just being his mom," Kirsten explained. "He's never done that before. I know he's let others call us his parents, and I know he's said we were his parents, but... he's never directly said we were his mom and his dad."
Sandy smiled and sat down beside her. "You are," he said. "I'm glad he knows that."
"I wish we could have gotten here without... without him hurting so much," Kirsten said.
"So do I," Sandy admitted. "But we can't change what happened, Kirsten. We can only make sure that it never happens again by doing our jobs and being his parents this time around."
To Be Continued...
