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Fic - The OC - Another Day (Chapter Three)
Title: Another Day
Author: Mara
Rating: R
Warnings: Language. Discussion of Suicide and Depression. AU. Spoilers for Seasons 1 to 3, especially the Season 3 finale. Possibly sex and violence in later chapters.
Summary: Ryan tries to move on with his life, but it's not always easy. Good thing he still has the Cohens and Summer to help him.
Notes: I think by now, everyone knows what this is a sequel to... lol... some seriousness, but a bit of humor too.
Chapter Three
Once the tree was set up in the livingroom, Kirsten left Sandy and Seth to argue about which decorations should go up while she pulled Ryan aside. "Sandy explained to me what you told him," she said. "I'm sorry we made you feel like we didn't believe in you."
"I know you didn't mean to," Ryan replied. "I'm doing good, Kirsten, I want you to know that. I feel secure, like I'm on stable ground, and you don't have to worry so much. I'm worrying enough for everybody."
"About what?" Kirsten asked.
"I'm kind of scared of the anniversary," Ryan admitted. "I'm three weeks away from the anniversary of the day I tried to kill myself, and that scares me because I don't know how I'm gonna handle that. I mean, I'm not gonna try again, I don't want to die anymore, but... I don't wanna have to arrange an emergency session with Dr. Harrison because I can't deal with it."
"We could make you an appointment for mid afternoon that day," Kirsten suggested. "If you feel okay, you can tell him that, if you feel bad, you can tell him that."
Ryan nodded. "Sounds like a good idea," he said. "See, I still need you guys, just... not so hovering and worrying."
Kirsten smiled and gave him a hug. "We're always going to take care of you and worry about you Ryan, same as we'll always take care of Seth and worry about him. You're our boys and we love you."
"I love you, too," Ryan replied as he pulled back. They heard a loud protest from Seth and laughed. "I think we better go referee," he said.
"Good idea," Kirsten agreed.
~~~~
"So, any plans for the break?" Sandy asked the boys as they all sat down to a dinner of Thai takeout.
"Relaxing and ignoring assignments for a couple days somewhere during the break," Ryan said with a tired groan. "Although some of it has to get done."
"I'm suppose to go shopping for a really great present for Summer," Seth said, shooting a wary glance at Ryan, who refused to look at him. "She practically demanded it."
"Well, there's a party at the club and I know a few newpsies have been asking where you boys are, so I'm afraid you have to both come."
Ryan grimaced and pushed his food around on his plate. "Great, another round of listening to them whisper," he muttered.
"Maybe me and Ry can just make appearances then bail?" Seth asked. "Go do something more fun instead."
"And what's your definition of fun?" Sandy asked.
"A party," Seth said. "Some of my friends are throwing a couple parties over break, maybe one will be on the same night, and we could..."
Kirsten started to open her mouth to protest Ryan going to a party, but she stopped herself, deciding this was a decision Ryan needed to make for himself. "Are these the same friends that have been keeping you too busy to come for dinner more often?" she asked instead.
"It's not that bad, mom," Seth said.
"Thanksgiving was the last meal you ate here," Sandy said.
"Really?" Seth said.
"You came, you ate, you left," Ryan said, somehow managing to sound both hurt and amused at once. "And what creeped me out is there was no babbling involved," he added with a small smile, trying to take the attention of the topic that he knew would cause trouble.
"Be careful what you wish for, Ryan my man," Seth said with a grin. "I could totally piece together a ramble on... on something totally random for you."
"Please don't," Ryan said, holding up his hands in a pleading gesture. "Please, please, don't."
"Aw, come on, you know you missed my monologues!" Seth insisted. "Like, there's a new comic book store on the pier that is dying for a visit from us during some Seth/Ryan time tomorrow, what do you say? I'm betting you haven't made any time to browse comics between classes because you have always been all about the studiousness even though that's just so boring, Ry! College is about fun as much as anything else and..." he stopped suddenly as Ryan's shoulders started shaking with surpressed laughter. Seth shrugged and grinned. "Hey, you're the one who said it was weird without my rambling."
"I said without your babbling, there's a difference," Ryan said. "With rambling you know what's being said. With babbling it kind of goes into gibberish after a while." he paused and raised an eyebrow. "You definitely babble."
"Hey!" Seth protested, though it was clear he wasn't really upset.
Ryan chuckled. "I'm sorry, man, but... it's true. You babble."
"See if I ever offer to take you comic shopping again," Seth muttered good naturedly. He glanced up at Ryan and saw the old patented Ryan Atwood look of scepticism, and couldn't help grinning.
"Whatever will I do?" Ryan said dryly.
Sandy and Kirsten exchanged glances, both glad to see the boys acting more like they used to without so much tension. "Now Ryan, there's no need to be that sarcastic," Sandy said with a smile. "A little sarcastic is okay though."
"Thanks a lot dad," Seth grumbled, but he was fighting a grin as he listened to Ryan chuckle. "Just because Ryan's giving me a hard time, I'm gonna ask, did you know he's got a model for his art class throwing herself at him?"
"That's just low," Ryan said, shaking his head. "And she's not exactly throwing herself at me..."
"Why haven't we heard about this before?" Sandy asked.
"Because this girl is annoying and... and won't take 'leave me alone' for an answer," Ryan said. "I wish she'd chose one of the guys who are in the class just to oggle the nude model..."
"Whoa!" Seth said. "You never mentioned the nude part!"
"What did you think Seth? She was wearing a parka? It's a college art class, we're suppose to practice drawing the human form," Ryan said.
"But she's nude, dude!"
"And this is not a conversation I'm going to have with you, especially not over dinner!" Ryan protested, laughing as he subtly gestured at Kirsten and Sandy to remind Seth that, yes, there were also parents present hearing him ramble at nude models.
"Right," Seth said, getting the hint. "We'll discuss you leaving out key facts like that later."
Ryan groaned and shook his head. "No, we won't," he said.
"Are there any non-nude girls flirting with you?" Sandy asked after a moment.
"The others seem to get the hint that I'm not interested," Ryan said. "Delia's just... I literally told her to back off and she still keeps flirting."
"You could ask Summer to go after her," Seth said. "I think a rage blackout could do the trick."
"I've been talking Summer out of going after Delia for weeks," Ryan admitted. "I don't know if it's the 'my friend told you to back off' factor or left over Marissa factor, but Summer's already glaring daggers."
"Good," Kirsten said. "If a girl doesn't respect that you're not interested, she's not good enough for you."
"Way to sound like a self esteem after school special mom," Seth said with a grin. "And one geared towards a teenage girl at that, so it totally becomes a new level of weird to use it with Ryan."
The entire family laughed, and just for a moment things seemed like they were before things got bad. It was definitely something they'd all missed.
~~~~
After dinner, everyone went outside to have dessert, and more serious conversation.
"So, it seems like you boys patched things up? At least somewhat?" Sandy said.
"I understand Seth's reasons for not taking my calls, he understands why I didn't talk to him last year. We've got that worked out enough to deal," Ryan said. "We've still got some issues, but... we'll work it out."
"That's a diplomatic way of putting it," Seth said. "And a way that doesn't reveal that I'm an ass."
"Feel free to reveal it yourself," Ryan said. "I don't mind if they know, I just didn't explain because it's between us."
Seth hesitated, then nodded. "I think I'd rather keep it between us," he said.
"If that's what you both want," Sandy said.
Ryan glanced around and sat back in his chair. "There's something I wanted to bring up, and actually Seth and I talked about it a little bit while we were out."
"What's that?" Kirsten asked.
"If my new course load next spring is still manageable, so that I'm not struggling too much, I'm thinking that I'd like to get an apartment in LA next fall so I'm not having to spend 4 hours on the road everyday. I could still come home on the weekends, and..."
"What about your meds?" Sandy brought up.
"That's one concern I have," Ryan said. "What I'm thinking is we could try, before fall, having it where I have more access to my meds. Like both my morning and evening doses are where I can get them without needing you to unlock them. And you can wait to remind me until it's at least a half hour after I was suppose to take my dose. Give me a chance to take it without the reminder. Work our way up to me having access to a full week's worth by the fall. Then, we can keep the bulk of my meds here, I just get a week's worth each weekend, not enough to hurt myself even if I was tempted." He took a deep breath. "I'm not saying for sure that this is what I'm going to do, especially since I don't have the money to do it, I'd need to ask you for a loan for at least first and last month's rent..."
"Honey, we're paying Seth's rent for him, of course we'll pay yours, too," Kirsten said. "Money is not an issue here. It's how ready you are."
Ryan nodded. "Which is why I want to start moving in that direction now. I told Sandy earlier, I want to be more independant. I love being home, and having you guys here, and seeing you everyday. That's what I've needed, but... I want to be able to be on my own. And there's enough time for us to work out a plan of how I'm going to do this and make it work. Like I said, if the course load is too much, or I start having more bad days, I'll rethink it. But... I wanna have a plan."
"It sounds like you've thought it out pretty well," Sandy said.
"I have," Ryan said. "I want this, but if I'm not ready next fall, then I'm not ready. And if you guys think I'm not ready, then I'll listen. But I really want to do this, and I do need help to do it. So... I'm asking you to help me."
"You know we will," Kirsten said, reaching across the table to squeeze his arm. "And we're proud of you that you're taking this step. But I have an idea that might also help you ease into it mreo gradually, let us all adjust slowly."
"Yeah?"
"One of your classes this spring is going to be in the evening, and by the time you get halfway here it'll be dark. So, what if we get you the apartment this spring? If you feel too tired after class to drive all the way back here, you can stay in LA for the night. Especially on the nights you have the late class, we can give you something to carry your evening dose in, and you can keep a change of clothes in LA..."
Ryan nodded. "Okay, that... that sounds good. Then I can try over time spending more time there."
"But still coming home for the weekend," Sandy insisted, pointing at Ryan sternly but with the paternal smile that took all possible harshness out of the words.
"Of course," Ryan said with a smile. "So... you're okay with this?"
"We're okay with whatever is best for you," Sandy said. "We want both of you boys to be happy and healthy, and if this is what you want and need, then... we're going to do what it takes to make sure you get it."
"Thanks."
To Be Continued...
Next chapter should actually feature characters with last names like Cooper and Roberts... lol... It may be a couple extra days because Chapter 4 is barely started, but it's coming...
On a slightly related note, I'm gonna start rotating which of my 3 Ryan/Summer icons I use for the fic posts, since I now have 3 icons made from manips of mine (My, pics, and paintbrush, a lovely combination... lol)... I'm jsut so geekily proud of my handiwork since the only programs I use are paintbrush for the actually editing of pixels, including adding text and borders, and a program called IrfanView for adjusting contrast and such... lol
Later!
Author: Mara
Rating: R
Warnings: Language. Discussion of Suicide and Depression. AU. Spoilers for Seasons 1 to 3, especially the Season 3 finale. Possibly sex and violence in later chapters.
Summary: Ryan tries to move on with his life, but it's not always easy. Good thing he still has the Cohens and Summer to help him.
Notes: I think by now, everyone knows what this is a sequel to... lol... some seriousness, but a bit of humor too.
Chapter Three
Once the tree was set up in the livingroom, Kirsten left Sandy and Seth to argue about which decorations should go up while she pulled Ryan aside. "Sandy explained to me what you told him," she said. "I'm sorry we made you feel like we didn't believe in you."
"I know you didn't mean to," Ryan replied. "I'm doing good, Kirsten, I want you to know that. I feel secure, like I'm on stable ground, and you don't have to worry so much. I'm worrying enough for everybody."
"About what?" Kirsten asked.
"I'm kind of scared of the anniversary," Ryan admitted. "I'm three weeks away from the anniversary of the day I tried to kill myself, and that scares me because I don't know how I'm gonna handle that. I mean, I'm not gonna try again, I don't want to die anymore, but... I don't wanna have to arrange an emergency session with Dr. Harrison because I can't deal with it."
"We could make you an appointment for mid afternoon that day," Kirsten suggested. "If you feel okay, you can tell him that, if you feel bad, you can tell him that."
Ryan nodded. "Sounds like a good idea," he said. "See, I still need you guys, just... not so hovering and worrying."
Kirsten smiled and gave him a hug. "We're always going to take care of you and worry about you Ryan, same as we'll always take care of Seth and worry about him. You're our boys and we love you."
"I love you, too," Ryan replied as he pulled back. They heard a loud protest from Seth and laughed. "I think we better go referee," he said.
"Good idea," Kirsten agreed.
~~~~
"So, any plans for the break?" Sandy asked the boys as they all sat down to a dinner of Thai takeout.
"Relaxing and ignoring assignments for a couple days somewhere during the break," Ryan said with a tired groan. "Although some of it has to get done."
"I'm suppose to go shopping for a really great present for Summer," Seth said, shooting a wary glance at Ryan, who refused to look at him. "She practically demanded it."
"Well, there's a party at the club and I know a few newpsies have been asking where you boys are, so I'm afraid you have to both come."
Ryan grimaced and pushed his food around on his plate. "Great, another round of listening to them whisper," he muttered.
"Maybe me and Ry can just make appearances then bail?" Seth asked. "Go do something more fun instead."
"And what's your definition of fun?" Sandy asked.
"A party," Seth said. "Some of my friends are throwing a couple parties over break, maybe one will be on the same night, and we could..."
Kirsten started to open her mouth to protest Ryan going to a party, but she stopped herself, deciding this was a decision Ryan needed to make for himself. "Are these the same friends that have been keeping you too busy to come for dinner more often?" she asked instead.
"It's not that bad, mom," Seth said.
"Thanksgiving was the last meal you ate here," Sandy said.
"Really?" Seth said.
"You came, you ate, you left," Ryan said, somehow managing to sound both hurt and amused at once. "And what creeped me out is there was no babbling involved," he added with a small smile, trying to take the attention of the topic that he knew would cause trouble.
"Be careful what you wish for, Ryan my man," Seth said with a grin. "I could totally piece together a ramble on... on something totally random for you."
"Please don't," Ryan said, holding up his hands in a pleading gesture. "Please, please, don't."
"Aw, come on, you know you missed my monologues!" Seth insisted. "Like, there's a new comic book store on the pier that is dying for a visit from us during some Seth/Ryan time tomorrow, what do you say? I'm betting you haven't made any time to browse comics between classes because you have always been all about the studiousness even though that's just so boring, Ry! College is about fun as much as anything else and..." he stopped suddenly as Ryan's shoulders started shaking with surpressed laughter. Seth shrugged and grinned. "Hey, you're the one who said it was weird without my rambling."
"I said without your babbling, there's a difference," Ryan said. "With rambling you know what's being said. With babbling it kind of goes into gibberish after a while." he paused and raised an eyebrow. "You definitely babble."
"Hey!" Seth protested, though it was clear he wasn't really upset.
Ryan chuckled. "I'm sorry, man, but... it's true. You babble."
"See if I ever offer to take you comic shopping again," Seth muttered good naturedly. He glanced up at Ryan and saw the old patented Ryan Atwood look of scepticism, and couldn't help grinning.
"Whatever will I do?" Ryan said dryly.
Sandy and Kirsten exchanged glances, both glad to see the boys acting more like they used to without so much tension. "Now Ryan, there's no need to be that sarcastic," Sandy said with a smile. "A little sarcastic is okay though."
"Thanks a lot dad," Seth grumbled, but he was fighting a grin as he listened to Ryan chuckle. "Just because Ryan's giving me a hard time, I'm gonna ask, did you know he's got a model for his art class throwing herself at him?"
"That's just low," Ryan said, shaking his head. "And she's not exactly throwing herself at me..."
"Why haven't we heard about this before?" Sandy asked.
"Because this girl is annoying and... and won't take 'leave me alone' for an answer," Ryan said. "I wish she'd chose one of the guys who are in the class just to oggle the nude model..."
"Whoa!" Seth said. "You never mentioned the nude part!"
"What did you think Seth? She was wearing a parka? It's a college art class, we're suppose to practice drawing the human form," Ryan said.
"But she's nude, dude!"
"And this is not a conversation I'm going to have with you, especially not over dinner!" Ryan protested, laughing as he subtly gestured at Kirsten and Sandy to remind Seth that, yes, there were also parents present hearing him ramble at nude models.
"Right," Seth said, getting the hint. "We'll discuss you leaving out key facts like that later."
Ryan groaned and shook his head. "No, we won't," he said.
"Are there any non-nude girls flirting with you?" Sandy asked after a moment.
"The others seem to get the hint that I'm not interested," Ryan said. "Delia's just... I literally told her to back off and she still keeps flirting."
"You could ask Summer to go after her," Seth said. "I think a rage blackout could do the trick."
"I've been talking Summer out of going after Delia for weeks," Ryan admitted. "I don't know if it's the 'my friend told you to back off' factor or left over Marissa factor, but Summer's already glaring daggers."
"Good," Kirsten said. "If a girl doesn't respect that you're not interested, she's not good enough for you."
"Way to sound like a self esteem after school special mom," Seth said with a grin. "And one geared towards a teenage girl at that, so it totally becomes a new level of weird to use it with Ryan."
The entire family laughed, and just for a moment things seemed like they were before things got bad. It was definitely something they'd all missed.
~~~~
After dinner, everyone went outside to have dessert, and more serious conversation.
"So, it seems like you boys patched things up? At least somewhat?" Sandy said.
"I understand Seth's reasons for not taking my calls, he understands why I didn't talk to him last year. We've got that worked out enough to deal," Ryan said. "We've still got some issues, but... we'll work it out."
"That's a diplomatic way of putting it," Seth said. "And a way that doesn't reveal that I'm an ass."
"Feel free to reveal it yourself," Ryan said. "I don't mind if they know, I just didn't explain because it's between us."
Seth hesitated, then nodded. "I think I'd rather keep it between us," he said.
"If that's what you both want," Sandy said.
Ryan glanced around and sat back in his chair. "There's something I wanted to bring up, and actually Seth and I talked about it a little bit while we were out."
"What's that?" Kirsten asked.
"If my new course load next spring is still manageable, so that I'm not struggling too much, I'm thinking that I'd like to get an apartment in LA next fall so I'm not having to spend 4 hours on the road everyday. I could still come home on the weekends, and..."
"What about your meds?" Sandy brought up.
"That's one concern I have," Ryan said. "What I'm thinking is we could try, before fall, having it where I have more access to my meds. Like both my morning and evening doses are where I can get them without needing you to unlock them. And you can wait to remind me until it's at least a half hour after I was suppose to take my dose. Give me a chance to take it without the reminder. Work our way up to me having access to a full week's worth by the fall. Then, we can keep the bulk of my meds here, I just get a week's worth each weekend, not enough to hurt myself even if I was tempted." He took a deep breath. "I'm not saying for sure that this is what I'm going to do, especially since I don't have the money to do it, I'd need to ask you for a loan for at least first and last month's rent..."
"Honey, we're paying Seth's rent for him, of course we'll pay yours, too," Kirsten said. "Money is not an issue here. It's how ready you are."
Ryan nodded. "Which is why I want to start moving in that direction now. I told Sandy earlier, I want to be more independant. I love being home, and having you guys here, and seeing you everyday. That's what I've needed, but... I want to be able to be on my own. And there's enough time for us to work out a plan of how I'm going to do this and make it work. Like I said, if the course load is too much, or I start having more bad days, I'll rethink it. But... I wanna have a plan."
"It sounds like you've thought it out pretty well," Sandy said.
"I have," Ryan said. "I want this, but if I'm not ready next fall, then I'm not ready. And if you guys think I'm not ready, then I'll listen. But I really want to do this, and I do need help to do it. So... I'm asking you to help me."
"You know we will," Kirsten said, reaching across the table to squeeze his arm. "And we're proud of you that you're taking this step. But I have an idea that might also help you ease into it mreo gradually, let us all adjust slowly."
"Yeah?"
"One of your classes this spring is going to be in the evening, and by the time you get halfway here it'll be dark. So, what if we get you the apartment this spring? If you feel too tired after class to drive all the way back here, you can stay in LA for the night. Especially on the nights you have the late class, we can give you something to carry your evening dose in, and you can keep a change of clothes in LA..."
Ryan nodded. "Okay, that... that sounds good. Then I can try over time spending more time there."
"But still coming home for the weekend," Sandy insisted, pointing at Ryan sternly but with the paternal smile that took all possible harshness out of the words.
"Of course," Ryan said with a smile. "So... you're okay with this?"
"We're okay with whatever is best for you," Sandy said. "We want both of you boys to be happy and healthy, and if this is what you want and need, then... we're going to do what it takes to make sure you get it."
"Thanks."
To Be Continued...
Next chapter should actually feature characters with last names like Cooper and Roberts... lol... It may be a couple extra days because Chapter 4 is barely started, but it's coming...
On a slightly related note, I'm gonna start rotating which of my 3 Ryan/Summer icons I use for the fic posts, since I now have 3 icons made from manips of mine (My, pics, and paintbrush, a lovely combination... lol)... I'm jsut so geekily proud of my handiwork since the only programs I use are paintbrush for the actually editing of pixels, including adding text and borders, and a program called IrfanView for adjusting contrast and such... lol
Later!